Expectation Creates Dissatisfaction (and what to do about it…)

While on vacation recently, I thought to myself, “This is perfect.”  The weather was nice.  We had a great hotel room.  The food was wonderful.

Was it really perfect? Were there nicer rooms, better food, and warmer climates?  Indeed. Comparatively speaking, it was not truly perfect.

But perfection in such matters is a state of mind.  A situation is perfect purely by declaring it so. There are no absolute measures of perfection for things like vacations.

Unfortunately, instead of appreciating what is, many look for the flaws.

Expectation is the source of dissatisfaction.

Think about your life.  Where are you least happy?  My guess is that your dissatisfaction is often a result of comparison.

Where you are today compared to…

• where you want to be in the future (aspirations and goals)
• where you were in the past (reminiscing about the “good ol’ days”)
• where you thought you would be already (your expectations and those of your family, society, and others)
• where others are today (comparison; keeping up with the Joneses)

Let’s take money as an example. Studies show that it’s not the “absolute” amount of money you have that matters. It is how much money you have “relative” to what you want.  Your financial aspirations are driven by how much others have, how much you think you should have, how much others (e.g., a spouse) expect you to have, and more.  Even if you are successful in hitting your financial goals, the more you make, the more you adapt, and therefore more you want. Higher income levels provide only fleeting happiness, and is typically replaced by the desire for more.

Expectation is the source of dissatisfaction.

Our expectations can be about anything:

• How many twitter followers we have compared to others (or how many we think we should have).
• How much publicity we get compared to others (or how much we wish we had or have received in the past).
• How many accolades we receive compared to others.
• How many prospects return our calls compared to our expectations or past successes.
• How nice our hotel room is compared to our expectations, other available rooms, or what we think we deserve.
• How much food we have compared to how hungry we are, what others have, or our subconscious desire to stuff our face. (eat blindfolded and be fed by someone else; you will have a deep appreciation for the quality and quantity of the food not matter what it is)
• The type of work we do compared to what we think we want to do, what others are doing, what society says we should do, or what our families tell us they expect

And the list goes on and on.

Nearly every area of our life has subconscious beliefs and associated desires.  The issue arises when we subconsciously say to ourselves, “It shouldn’t be this way.”

…I should have more hair (in others words, I shouldn’t have as little hair as I do).
…I should weight less.
…I should make more money.
…I deserve to be treated better.
…I wish I had a different job.
…Why does everyone else have more than I do?

Some people have an “I” problem (thanks Terry Brock for that expression).

And some people want to save the world, and that causes dissatisfaction.

…We shouldn’t have war.
…We shouldn’t have poverty.
…Why can’t we all just get along?

Expectation is the source of dissatisfaction.

A Reflection of Perfection

Each year on New Year’s Eve, I choose a theme.  It is a one-word mantra that drives everything I do during the year.

The word for 2012 is “perfect.”  That is, everything is perfect by declaration rather than as defined by some arbitrary criteria.

I am absolutely convinced that anyone can, in any moment, consciously declare that everything is perfect.  It is exactly as it should be.  It can take conscious effort to have things feel perfect; it is not always easy.  But it is possible.  It is having a deep appreciation for what is rather than what we want.

Perfection is NOT positive thinking.  It is exactly the opposite.  Positive thinking is not about acknowledging what is in the moment.  Positive thinking is about replacing your true feelings with an artificial thought.

Perfection is the acknowledgement of what is now.  If you feel sad, that is perfect.  If you are in a difficult situation, that is perfect.  This present moment cannot be any different than it is.  So why try to change it?  It is futile. And why try to feel positively about it if you don’t?  Embrace the situation – and your feelings about the situation – exactly as they are.

There have been many moments over the past 6 months when I paused and brought conscious thought to how perfect a situation is, even when it didn’t seem so.

I don’t like arguments…at all.  They make me uncomfortable.  As a result, I have very few.  But sometimes they happen.  I remember one such situation a few months ago.  Although at first I wanted the “conversation” to end, I paused and thought to myself, “this is perfect.”  I then listened to what the other person had to say from the perspective of contribution. I learned a lot about the other person and myself, and it brought the two of us closer together.  It turned out perfectly.

Adversarial conversations can be perfect.  They are only problematic when they “shouldn’t be this way.”

Of course a gap between the current state and our desired future state does not always cause dissatisfaction.  Sometimes they can be a source of motivation.  But even in those situations, our future aspirations can be a distraction that causes us to miss the beauty of the here and now.  We get so focused on where we are going that we speed past where we are.

Creativity happens in the present moment.  People who are more aware of “now” are more creative.

Perfection (and the associated creativity) today leads to perfection (and more creativity) tomorrow.  And eventually you have one long streak of perfection.

And to me, this sounds perfect.

P.S. One of my favorite songs right now (I discovered it after I declared my theme, which makes the song even more perfect) is Perfect by Jami Lula.  I highly recommend it! 

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Exception Handling Continued

In my AMEX OPEN Forum article, “Design Your Business to Handle the Exception, Not for the Exception,” someone commented that simplification is a better strategy than segmentation.  And I wholeheartedly agree.

Car manufacturers do this when they use common parts and reduce the number of configurations to reduce costs and complexity.

Having said that, if you want something special, you still have the option of getting aftermarket modifications.

But sometimes eliminating options is not an option.

A company’s strategy may determine what makes the most sense; having a lot of options may be what you want.

Or in some cases (e.g., TSA airport screening) government regulations can impact your process.

Or sometimes, the overall cost effectiveness of the system, requires more complexity (e.g., the insurance claims/underwriting process described in the article).

We’ve done a lot of computer simulations that demonstrate that the segmentation strategy is, when simplification is not an option, the best solution (in most cases).

For example, when working with a race car team, the designers would develop major improvements to the car every two weeks after each race. They would then have manufacturing create the new parts so that they could be tested. The problem was that this caused disruption in the manufacturing process which was streamlined and optimized.

When they developed a new dedicated manufacturing line for the designers, the overall throughput increased significantly. The ad hoc design process no longer impacted the efficiency of the production process.

Of course you can find extreme example where this principle does not work. And in those situations, you may need to alter your process.

During slow times, fast food restaurants “make to order,” cooking your food only after you order it (although components may be pre-cooked). But during peak hours, they pre-make the most popular foods as a way of reducing wait time. Those with special orders will have to wait longer.

There is no one-size-fits-all solution. With any “innovation,” you want to test out the concepts, ideally via computer simulations, before introducing them.

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7 Tips to Sell Your Ideas Like a Motivational Speaker

“You don’t listen!”

All of us have likely heard these words spat at us in frustration at some point in our lives. And guess what, it’s true! The fact is that no one listens.

In a previous OPEN Forum article, I wrote on how to more effectively hear what others are really trying to say. By recognizing how you listen (or more accurately, don’t), you can then better understand the way others listen. This in turn arms you with the ability to speak in a way that will have you be heard.

Effective innovators and business leaders need to “sell” their ideas to others. But too often we fall into unproductive behaviors that prevent our message from coming across.

What are these barriers and how can you conquer them? Having given hundreds of speeches in 43 countries, I have learned a few tricks on how to be heard more effectively, whether you’re speaking to a big audience or just one client or employee.

1. To be heard, first hear. While speaking on Capitol Hill in Washington D.C., I became painfully aware that everyone was more interested in being heard than hearing the perspectives of others. How can you be heard in this environment? Listen. Appreciate their point of view, even if you don’t agree with it. People can sense when you are not open to what they are saying and will thus be less inclined to hear you. Acknowledge differences in opinion and appreciate others’ perspectives.

2. Build an emotional connection. When starting a speech, you want to connect with the audience emotionally. Why should the audience care about what I am going to say? What’s in it for them? What benefit will come from listening? Buy-in is rarely done on an intellectual level. People are more likely to listen if they can relate to you and your message on an emotion level. Does what you offer—your product, service or idea—solve a problem? Can you speak to a pain they have?

3. Know your audience’s style. I’ve found that although American audiences typically like my speaking style, people in other countries are sometimes put off by it. For example, if I use my high-energy style in England, I can be viewed as overly enthusiastic and not taken as seriously. I find that a more professorial approach works there. Equally, when speaking to scientists, I use a different style than when speaking to advertising agencies. In order to be heard, match your style to that of the audience.

4. Avoid a one-size-fits-all approach. Everyone makes decisions in different ways. Even though I may be interested in the novelty/coolness factor, others want to know the scientific evidence and facts. Some are more interested in the practicality of your solution while others are more concerned with the impact on others and are driven by emotions. When speaking to larger groups, you need to address all of these styles. But when talking to someone one-on-one, speak to the style of the individual.

5. Don’t preach. Coach. It is fine to be passionate about your topic, but being dogmatic and closed-minded prevents others from being interested in your point of view…

Read the rest of this article (and comment) on the American Express OPEN FORUM site

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Innovating Water Treatment

In my latest American Express OPEN Forum article, I talked about how designing to handle the exception, not for the exception can improve efficiency and reduce costs, while increase overall performance. [If you didn't read that article, please do so before proceeding]

When I first wrote that article, I included a potential use of this concept as a way of solving our clean water challenge.  But during editing it was cut, so I decided to include it here…

Our aging water infrastructure provides potable water to a large percentage of the houses in this country.  340 billion gallons of water are used every day in the United States; an average of 1,000 gallons per household per day.  Although less than 1% is actually used for human consumption, nearly all of the 340 billion gallons are treated for drinkability.  The other 99% is for industrial use, showers, toilets, swimming pools, lawns, and other functions where potable water is not needed.  Therefore, applying this principle, one solution would be to stop worrying about the aging water infrastructure, and instead provide bottled water for drinking.  Or maybe every house is retrofitted with a simple filtration system to handle only the water that requires treatment. 

I write this, not as the best solution, but just a different way of looking at the problem.  A one-size-fits-all approach to problem solving can work against us.  If we look at what is really needed, we will find some new solutions.

What other uses of this concept can you find?

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Design to Handle the Exception, Not for the Exception

While going through security at the airport the other day, I was reminded of an important design and innovation concept.

Things were going smoothly until a bag was flagged during the X-ray procedure. The luggage was held on the conveyor until an authority could conduct a manual inspection. At the same time, a similar problem arose on another line. Everything ground to a complete halt. Although it took only 5 minutes to get the lines moving again, during rush hour that was all it took for the queues to grow out of control.

Many years back, a supervisor shared with me a design principle I still use 25 years later: design to handle the exception, not for the exception. That is, don’t design your business model around the most complicated case. Instead, design it so that the exceptions can be addressed, even if their efficiency is impacted.

When designers try to make one process cover every situation, no matter how rare or unusual, the result is usually greatly increased complexity and diminishing returns for everyone.

Using my supervisor’s mantra, this airport dilemma differently would be solved by pulling off the bags that need manual inspections (the exceptions) into a separate area. Even if those bags would have to wait longer to be processed, they wouldn’t impact the bulk of the customers and would significantly speed up average wait times. Those travelers with the exception bags may be more inconvenienced than they are today, but perhaps knowing that you will be significantly slowed may encourage people to be more careful with what they put in their luggage.

How can this be applied elsewhere?

A major life insurance company found that its claims handling was slow and expensive. What they discovered was that every claim was being processed using the same rigorous procedures.

But all claims did not need to be treated equally.

To improve efficiency, they scaled down the process and segmented claims according to their level of complexity. A simple version was used for straightforward cases. More robust versions were used for more complicated cases, while the full process was reserved only for the most difficult and time-consuming cases.  The most skilled and expensive specialists would resolve these complex claims while generalists handled the easiest ones.

What they found was that 60 percent of their cases could be handled using the simplest process with the least expensive resources. Thirty percent received the mid-level procedure, while only 10 percent needed the original full treatment. The result? Processing costs were reduced by 40 percent while average processing time was greatly reduced. Service levels also increased.

So how does this apply to your business?

Look at your customers. Which customers account for the bulk of your business? Which customers account for the bulk of your profits? Design your business to meet their needs. If you have other, less frequent needs, find a way of handling them outside of your standard processes, even if the cost is greater (to you or the customer) and the convenience is lower.

If you run a restaurant and 80 percent of your customers order the same five menu items, make sure you can inexpensively and efficiently cook those meals. For patrons who want items less frequently ordered, maybe they can pay a premium or wait a bit longer. Additionally, instead of keeping perishable ingredients in house for those rarely ordered meals, maybe you can find a nearby store where you can buy them just-in-time when needed.

If you run a call center…

Read the rest of this article on the American Express OPEN Forum

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